TOOL OF THE DAY: Empowering Children in Harmful Ways
CATEGORY: Family Law Culture
Has your judge ever asked you to “Think about what you two are teaching your children?” Asks you how you want to influence them and what you want to teach them.
And then the judge strips one of you of most of your time with your child.
So let’s ask, what did the court just teach your child?
While the court spend all their time scolding you and telling you that you have hurt your child by getting divorced and teaching your child that they get divorced instead of work through their problems with their spouse, they rip your child from you.
This teaches your child the following:
1. If they ever get divorced when they are older they can take a child from the other parent.
2. Beat the other parent up in court.
3. Complain to everyone about the other parent.
4. Teach your child to complain about the other parent.
5. Teach your child to pick a parent.
6. Take your child to a therapist to complain about the other parent.
7. The more difficult you make it for the other parent to participate in the child’s activities, the more benefit you will get out of the court.
This also teaches the child that one parent is second-class to the other parent. And this comes will all sorts of additional negative things you have taught that child about the noncustodial parent. Here are the top five things the court has empowered the other parent to perpetuate about the other parent and to teach this legacy to the child:
1. The noncustodial parent was not good enough to have you more time.
2. The other parent was bad.
3. The judge doesn’t trust that the other parent is a good parent.
4. The other parent shouldn’t influence you as much because they make bad choices.
5. The other parent has some problems and are too difficult to deal with. Not even the judge could deal with them. (Sometimes they will teach the child that the other parent has a mental illness or even that they are not safe to be with.)
The court empowered your child and rewarded your ex for putting the child in the middle. The child ultimately learns that there is reward for turning a child on the other parent. The court has ultimately harmed this child by affecting the culture and beliefs that this child will carry into the next generation about divorce and the behaviors in divorce in a negative way. The court has stolen half of this child’s family and hurt this child forever by taking away the influence and benefit that the child would get from this other parent.